More Tests

Friday January 17^th,  My birthday…and JD’s Birthday and Mrs. Obama’s Birthday

Well. A lot has happened and I have learned a lot this week.  Wednesday, I had a 2-hour MRI of my head and neck.  Sounds harmless.  If you have never had an MRI it is pretty simple.  They lay you on a thin gurney and move the gurney into the bowels of this machine about the size of a coffin.  Yea, all you “Kill Bill” fans out there, it reminded me of Uma Thurman getting buried alive in a pine box.  I remember watching the movie and feeling like I had to leave the movie theater.  I am claustrophobic.  I was able to watch the entire buried alive scene, but it was hard.  Well, anyway, MRI was much better than the sweaty, hot dark cramped coffin but the mind sure kept trying to go back there.  Lying still for 2 hours with your head in holder was doable but not fun.

Thursday, I had my last test scheduled before the tumor board meeting.  It was a PET/CT scan.  I went to work in the AM and showed up for the PET scan about one o’clock.  Someone had given me some trail mix as an early birthday present and I munched away on it on the way to my appointment.  Once again everyone was so nice as they took me into the back room. The nurse’s first question to me was, “When did you have anything to eat or drink last?”  Opps, I knew there was a problem.  I smiled and said, “Oh, about 5 minutes ago.”  A look of shock came over her face,  “ You need to be NPO, we can’t do your test today.”  Well, long story short, there must have been a breakdown in communication.  I never got the message to be NPO.  Sorry.   They said there would be an opening tomorrow at 2 PM or sometime next week .  That bummed me out since the tumor board only meets once a week and this test had to be done before tomorrow morning.  I could feel that feeling of anger sinking into my mind.  It is a terrible feeling.  It is so hard for me to control but something I have really been working on.  I couldn’t push it away; I was pissed.  I was short with the nurse.  I wanted to scream but I didn’t.  “Why didn’t someone tell me to be NPO?”  This is going to screw up everything.  (HA. As I write this I see the problem.)  Isn’t it supposed to be all about me?   But it’s not.   I can accept that now.  Anyway, everything worked out.  Jason Hunt, my doctor, arranged to have the test at 7:30 AM the next day. If all went well it would be finished in time to have the board or at least several of the doctors look things over and get a game plan together.    

I felt bad that night for the way I felt and acted towards the folks in radiology.  I thought about the situation a lot.  Things happen. I know that.  Hell, I am in the medical field.  I experience first hand human screw-ups everyday.  This was a flat out case of being selfish.  Shame on me.  It shows how far I have to go in this life to become a bodhisattva, a helper of others, a kind and considerate man.  Hey, this blog thing is working out.   It seems the more I write about this strange journey I am on, the more insight I am beginning to have.  Cool.