Vignettes

I couldn't sleep last night.  There is this thing called Chemo brain.  I don't know what is is exactly, but Jane thinks I might have it.  A little slower.  Not as sharp. In a fog.  A look in the eyes as the brain is revving up to respond to a question.  Lots of ideas fast-tracking through the brain.  That's what happened last night.  I should have just gotten up and blogged at that time, but it was 2:36 AM when I looked at the clock.

Yesterday was one of the best days.  Not from a cancer standpoint but from a life standpoint.  Katie was still here visiting, and she accompanied us to radiation and Chemo on Monday.  Chemo takes 4-5 hours.  She crawled in bed with me at the infusion center.  OK, clean your minds.  She read me the beginning of East of Eden.  Bolte says the name comes from the Bible.  Cane and Abel.  Cane was banished to the land of Nob?  When asked where that was, he was told, it is east of Eden.  Cool.  Steinbeck, wow what a writer.  Who knew?

After Chemo, we went to lunch at the Melty Way, a gourmet grilled cheese place.  I had a Mexican Fanta orange soda that was awesome.  Cold, smooth and tasty.

After a nap, Jane and I went for a walk with Sadie, our dog.  The sky was brilliant.  Blue patches with Simpson type clouds.   Fresh air,  foothills, spiky tree on mountain vistas.

More nap time.

Eileen Csontos is a wonderful person.  We work together at the Shriners Hospital.  She is the most caring anesthesiologist.  She is a small petite woman and I am not sure where she keeps her heart, since it must be the size of Texas.  She wanted to do something for me, so she called and ran a plan by me.  She takes yoga, and her yoga  teacher is a young rasta dude who plays guitar and runs a class with one of his brothers.  James and Judd are their names.  She approached them about doing a home session for me.  James said he knew me?  The name was familiar to me, but not really.  Strange plan;  but I said sure that sounds interesting.  You never know how those things will turn out.  Our house is not very big;  Jane had to move the dining room table, chairs and the coffee table to make room.  We thought ten people with mats might fit.  Eileen asked some wonderful friends from Shriners and I asked a couple of people to join in; Bob and Susie. I wanted Bob to help with the music if it was strange,  also to see him meditate and do yoga.  He doesn't look like the meditative yoga type, but he is usually up to try anything.   I love that guy. We also had Judy: I played guitar with her brother, Ralph, in high school and I have a couple of his guitars.  He passed away from bladder cancer four years ago.  Susan B.  One of the smartest and most interesting people I have ever met.  Salman, my Bodhisattva.  Also, he has never done yoga.  Susie and Bob.  Jane, me and Katie, and Jackie, one of the recovery room nurses.  Our band played at Jackie's wedding and divorce party; she said the divorce party was more fun.  I hope she doesn't mind me sharing.

 James and Judd show up.  Young rasta hipsters.  Guitar and yoga mats in hand.   James Hardy, oh that James Hardy.  Yea, I know this cat.  I know his family.  We went camping together when James was about 12.  He had a little brother, Skip; who was hilarious.  Their mom and dad were animals.  I know Karli climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and loves the earth we live on.  Oh, that James Hardy,  I also coached him in junior jazz basketball in 6th and 7th grade.  We had two James Hardys on the team.  Wow, small world.  We set up the mats, dimmed the lights, lit the candles and James and Judd led us through a restorative yoga session for our group of 30 somethings.  Ha, on that one.

During the last pose, corpse or resting pose.  James grabbed his guitar and began playing "Into the Mystic" by Van the man Morrison.  Judd sang and OH my God.  That guy has a gift.  Beautiful voice, clear and bell like,  better than Van.?  Maybe.  The setting had a lot to do with the feel of it.  We then made tea, cheese and fruit and bread was served.  Lots of catching up and just being together.  Before it got too late I asked James and Judd if Bob and I could play a few tunes with them.  Being musicians that love to play anytime, they jumped at the chance.  We tuned up and Bob and I asked if we could play Into the mystic again?  Me on Mandolin, Bob and James on guitar and the wonder voice, Judd, signing.  Wow, it sounded good.  Then we played a Norah Jones tune,  "Love You Pretty Baby."

James started the third song with one chord and I knew what it was. I stopped him dead.  I had to tell a story.  When Bolte and I met and started playing together we were playing this song and that, feeling each other out as musicians do.  I said, "Hey, what about 'A Horse With No Name' by America?"  His face scrunched up, left eyelid elevated, right eye sticking out a bit, teeth bared, hand puppet-like with pointed finger a lot like the Grinch or Lewis Black, the comedian.   His voice seemed to growl, "that is the worst song ever written."  Period.  Enough said.  We have never played that song, even though I think its pretty good, wish I'd written it. Monday night I pulled the cancer card and we played.  Had the whole group singing on the "la la" part, and I think Bob had fun playing it.  I will find out in a few days.  I'll be sure to ask him.  We played Wagon Wheel by Old Crow, but written by Dylan and ended a wonderful evening.  Jane made sure I got to bed at a reasonable time.  She takes good care of me.

I am grateful for a lot.  I am grateful for everything.  Last night was very unique and special.  Spending the evening with  people I don't know well, but in such a close, peaceful, supportive community was awesome.  I could feel so much love, not necessarily for me, but just the love that people can have for each other all the time.  The Hardy boys seem mature beyond there years.  Judd had cancer at age 25 and had to under go Chemo for two years.  I kept telling him that's what gave him such a beautiful voice.  They are yoga instructors and musicians.  They embrace the concept of doing good, living in the moment, trying to see the best in all things, and helping others at every opportunity.  We should all be so fortunate.   Namaste