Eating has been one of the hardest things to do. First of all, I am not doing any of my usual activities. Second, I am mildly to moderately nauseated at any given moment. Third, most everything I eat tastes the same; very bland and not very appetizing. Fourth, my throat hurts and it is difficult to swallow. It seems like a constant trial to continue to eat. Even using the G-tube makes me feel full and nauseated.
They need to come up with a pill that has the four above side-effects. Now that would be one successful diet pill.
I've decided to eat the best I can. I am not too worried. I think my body can handle the weight loss. When I regain my taste and appetite, I will probably be back to trying to lose a pound or two so I can climb that hill a little quicker or grasp that 5-12 rock climb that is just beyond my reach. I hope in April and/or May things start to taste good again. From this experience I have learned to always try and eat more slowly, enjoy the time, and chew every bite more fully. I will try to eat less quickly. (In medicine, especially surgery, I was taught to eat really, really fast and get back to work) Enjoy flavors and sip my wine. I am grateful for food and I am grateful that it doesn't agree with me right now. I will always have a greater appreciation for it in the future.
That whole food thing is the worst. I am such a foodie and I remember days when I would come home from treatment being so nauseous, and just close my eyes and picture delicious spaghetti dinners, or big plates of Tres Hombres mexican food. It really is funny what our brains will do to compensate. Have you tried eating carnation instant breakfasts? I also ate a bunch of white rolls with butter, and one day had this plain baked potato (probably laced with butter, the kitchen was always trying to pull stunts like), and steamed carrots that rocked my world. I'm glad you are trying to keep on the weight, and sorry about your throat and the nausea. I keep getting comments from people about my hair, and I always tell then "you too can have this great hair, for the low low price of 4 months of chemo!" perhaps they should market it for weight loss too ;-) Keep kicking, you'll surely be beating all the kids up the hill this year, regardless of the weight. Love you!
ReplyDeletejust realized that my names isn't linked with my account, this is Andrea Hoffman, just so you know.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, What wisdom you have!
ReplyDeleteHi Steve have eaten those scallops right off my computer screen! They also happen to be my favorite seafood as well. Would love to join you in a "scallops extravaganza" when you feel up for it. Take care my friend.
ReplyDeleteGrandma & I had scallops for thanksgiving dinner last year - I had no idea it was such a family favorite. Blood. Genes. Weird.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I wrote this huge paragraph and then pushed SIGN OUT. Duh, lost it all.
ReplyDeleteI think that the Army taught us to eat fast, :hurry up and eat and get out of here". Also fast food taught us exactly that, which is why I don't eat there any more. When I stop and enjoy the taste, smell and love that was put into a delicious dish, I am truly in the now. And I thank God and my body every time for the enjoyment and nourishment that the food will give me. I usually don't say a huge prayer, even just "We have food, thank you God, let's eat" works if said with true intent.
Love ya bro'
Noodling Ned