My radiation team
Well, it's Friday and I just finished my 18th radiation treatment. I am calling this the half way point. I actually have 37 treatments (so half would be to finish the 19th) but I will give them a free one on me at the end. It seems like a long time coming. Dr Ying said the second half will feel a lot longer than the first half. So far, it has not been quite as bad as I was anticipating. The fatigue is intense, more than I thought, but I am hanging in there with pain, swallowing and dealing. Talking is getting harder; my voice is raspy and it seems like an effort to get any words out.
Do you believe in fate? I think it is possible once in awhile, but on a day to day basis, I think I believe in opportunity. Or creating opportunity, or seizing opportunity when it arises. Sometimes, things have to fall into place to get started, but then it becomes up to you to run with it. I also believe weird and strange shit happens. And it is not out of the realm of possibility that the stars have lined up for you or an event to have an incredible effect on someone or something that needs it at a specific time.
Did I become a doctor to help someone that is going to effect the world in a positive way? Have I helped the future president or CEO of a company willing to save our ailing planet? I hope so. Is my job done as a physician? Did I get this cancer to change my course? I don't know, but I wonder. I don't think I will stop practicing medicine for awhile, unless I couldn't do it well. But what about changing course? Should I become more spiritual? Should I seek out a community? Is there someone out there that needs my help? Of course there is. Should I work with a cancer support group for children? Will something just open up and reveal itself or will I search something out and make it work? Time will tell. If I see opportunities arise, you bet I am going to consider them. If the spirit moves me, I will be open and available when, and if, the time comes. This is how we should live our lives. Call it fate or opportunity or a journey along the road, whatever.
Keep your antennas up. Always be open to talk to people. They will notice your antennas and will respond to the slightest approach. You never know what will happen, how small a world it is or what you have in common. And for those of you who say you are too shy, get over it. Who cares if someone you don't know thinks your awkward when you start a conversation - you don't know them anyway. And in my experience, a short conversation helps both of our days. Really.
Fate probably does happen. Serendipity. Being open. Interaction. Communication. Love, Embrace, and Engage. Namaste
Thanks Steve.
ReplyDeleteLooking good at the half-way mark Steve! I am really missing my good friend and partner. I am also learning a lot about you and indirectly about myself through your very insightful postings. Love you mon ami!
ReplyDeleteOK. Time for me to chime in (again). It may sound scary, but I have been carrying you around in my head for many years. All good.
ReplyDelete"Love, Embrace, Engage..... " Over the years, I have generated a symbolic image of you that epitomizes these concepts. It's my WWSSD.
You have the natural ability to walk across the room, look me in the eye, shake my hand, and offer me a chance to be with you, just you and right now. That massive cloud of dust which is my constant inner monologue about past and future, about plans, things to do and fears............... well, it disappears for that moment. That moment is just about unspoken caring between two friends. It is complete.
Thank you.
And, yes, I promise to begin to reflect on all the wonderful people in my life and to thank them for how they make the world a better place.
I'll thank them, Now. While I can.
Steve, yes I agree with Jacques, you are looking good. I love your blogs and feel that you are just opening to what is already inside of you. I posted this just today and you are a shining example that will affect all around you. Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.—Matthew 5:16
ReplyDeleteLove ya Bro'
Ned